I Guess We're Doing Alright
It's June and I've been doing alright for a little while now. After being forced to get help, I've been doing a lot better. I've started becoming close to my friends again and forming relationships that are stronger than they were.
The guy I was talking to that I thought I'd end up dating ended up really hurting me and breaking me to the point that I've decided not to date for a while. I spent a lot of time feeling hurt and asking myself why, but I realized that it's his loss and that he could have tried to make it work. It was his choice not to.
The more I've talked to friends about things that happened, the more I've realized that some of the things he did weren't okay. He coerced me into things that I wasn't ready for (I thought I was at the time and honestly just wanted him to stop/be happy) much faster than I was okay with and I think that's part of why it hurt me so much. There were times where he pushed me to do things I wasn't comfortable with and I felt like I had to go along with them because I had feelings for him. In reality, that was wrong.
I think he cared about me at one point, but I know he stopped caring. He completely changed the way he treated me and I tried to talk to him about it to fix it, but he didn't seem to want to. He ended up ghosting me and I was hurt by it to the point I needed medical help. However, I'm extremely lucky to have certain people in my life.
My best friends picked me up when I fell apart and did their best to put me back together. It wasn't an easy task, but I've at least duct taped myself together for the time being. I didn't want to be put on medication, but it ended up being one of the best solutions possible at the time and between my friends and that, a lot has changed. I am still anxious and depressed, but not to the extent that I was. I can at least talk about what happened without falling apart now.
I ended up in a much better situation at work around the same time and met new people. I ended up becoming close with a few of them and ended up clicking very quickly with one of the builders. Our co-workers started trying to get him to ask me out which was actually pretty hilarious. Some of the things they told him were hilarious and a month later, he still hasn't lived it down. We haven't been talking as much since I left because he isn't much of a phone person. By that I mean it usually takes him 3 days to respond to a text if he responds at all. We're still trying to be friends, but it's going to be more of a work friendship.
I found out that he actually wanted to ask me out, but hesitated because of my relationship with one of my best friends. I had feelings for my best friend, but I never told the guy at work that. He could tell because of the way I interact with the guy that there's something there. At that time, I was talking to him almost constantly and we spent hours on the phone every week. Currently, we spend close to 15 hours on the phone a week if I had to estimate a number. We don't always talk, but we've started doing our own thing and just sitting on the line because it's the closest we can get right now since we live 4 hours apart. It's honestly one of my favorite things because it's slowly turning into exactly what I want in a relationship with someone else. We've both decided that we're going to take it slow because we both know we're not ready for a relationship right now, but we'll see what happens in the future.
I'm taking classes right now and working part time. Both are rather stressful at times, but I prefer taking classes online opposed to sitting in a lecture hall. I also enjoy where I work, but not necessarily the craziness on top of what I'm supposed to be doing.
Overall, I'm doing alright.
Title Song: I Guess We're Doing Alright by Handsome Hound
The guy I was talking to that I thought I'd end up dating ended up really hurting me and breaking me to the point that I've decided not to date for a while. I spent a lot of time feeling hurt and asking myself why, but I realized that it's his loss and that he could have tried to make it work. It was his choice not to.The more I've talked to friends about things that happened, the more I've realized that some of the things he did weren't okay. He coerced me into things that I wasn't ready for (I thought I was at the time and honestly just wanted him to stop/be happy) much faster than I was okay with and I think that's part of why it hurt me so much. There were times where he pushed me to do things I wasn't comfortable with and I felt like I had to go along with them because I had feelings for him. In reality, that was wrong.
I think he cared about me at one point, but I know he stopped caring. He completely changed the way he treated me and I tried to talk to him about it to fix it, but he didn't seem to want to. He ended up ghosting me and I was hurt by it to the point I needed medical help. However, I'm extremely lucky to have certain people in my life.
My best friends picked me up when I fell apart and did their best to put me back together. It wasn't an easy task, but I've at least duct taped myself together for the time being. I didn't want to be put on medication, but it ended up being one of the best solutions possible at the time and between my friends and that, a lot has changed. I am still anxious and depressed, but not to the extent that I was. I can at least talk about what happened without falling apart now.I ended up in a much better situation at work around the same time and met new people. I ended up becoming close with a few of them and ended up clicking very quickly with one of the builders. Our co-workers started trying to get him to ask me out which was actually pretty hilarious. Some of the things they told him were hilarious and a month later, he still hasn't lived it down. We haven't been talking as much since I left because he isn't much of a phone person. By that I mean it usually takes him 3 days to respond to a text if he responds at all. We're still trying to be friends, but it's going to be more of a work friendship.
I found out that he actually wanted to ask me out, but hesitated because of my relationship with one of my best friends. I had feelings for my best friend, but I never told the guy at work that. He could tell because of the way I interact with the guy that there's something there. At that time, I was talking to him almost constantly and we spent hours on the phone every week. Currently, we spend close to 15 hours on the phone a week if I had to estimate a number. We don't always talk, but we've started doing our own thing and just sitting on the line because it's the closest we can get right now since we live 4 hours apart. It's honestly one of my favorite things because it's slowly turning into exactly what I want in a relationship with someone else. We've both decided that we're going to take it slow because we both know we're not ready for a relationship right now, but we'll see what happens in the future.I'm taking classes right now and working part time. Both are rather stressful at times, but I prefer taking classes online opposed to sitting in a lecture hall. I also enjoy where I work, but not necessarily the craziness on top of what I'm supposed to be doing.
Overall, I'm doing alright.
Title Song: I Guess We're Doing Alright by Handsome Hound