I Have to Stop for a While
Unfortunately, I have to stop writing and posting things for a while. I hate to do this because I was really enjoying it, but it's actually hurting me because it's making me remember things that have happened and causing my anxiety and depression to get worse. I've published everything that I've written up to this point and will publish more if/when I can.
Doing self-exploration has allowed me to learn more about myself and understand what my triggers are. However, understanding what sets me off doesn't exactly help me stop the trigger when I end up coming into contact with it, nor does it really help me move past those feelings. Remembering some of the things I'd forgotten actually made it worse, so I have to stop for a little while. I'm sorry.
I don't always feel so bad, but my lows have gotten lower lately and I think that it is attributed to the fact that I've been doing so much journaling and self-exploration lately.
I fear everything, and I don't understand why all the time. I'm afraid of failing at anything I do. I'm afraid of the people I've finally opened up to walking out of my life with no warning or reason (it's happened so much in the past). I'm afraid that if I keep freaking out like I am, my person will walk away from me and leave me truly alone. I'm afraid of going back to classes this summer. I'm afraid I'll get in trouble for not being productive enough at work. I'm afraid that I'm so numb, I'll accidentally hurt myself without noticing.
Doing self-exploration has allowed me to learn more about myself and understand what my triggers are. However, understanding what sets me off doesn't exactly help me stop the trigger when I end up coming into contact with it, nor does it really help me move past those feelings. Remembering some of the things I'd forgotten actually made it worse, so I have to stop for a little while. I'm sorry.
I don't always feel so bad, but my lows have gotten lower lately and I think that it is attributed to the fact that I've been doing so much journaling and self-exploration lately.
I fear everything, and I don't understand why all the time. I'm afraid of failing at anything I do. I'm afraid of the people I've finally opened up to walking out of my life with no warning or reason (it's happened so much in the past). I'm afraid that if I keep freaking out like I am, my person will walk away from me and leave me truly alone. I'm afraid of going back to classes this summer. I'm afraid I'll get in trouble for not being productive enough at work. I'm afraid that I'm so numb, I'll accidentally hurt myself without noticing.