Ghosts of Unicorn Past: Middle School "Relationships"

I've had a lot of relationships that weren't really relationships. I no longer consider many of these people as exes because they were never really more than a friendship, especially when I was younger. I haven't really been in many courtships that I would consider a relationship because to me, a relationship must meet certain criteria.

1. The Drama Buddy
When I was in the 6th grade, I got my first "boyfriend." We were in the drama club together and worked together in productions. We'd done several performances together over the years and were pretty great friends. This "relationship" happened long before I understood what a relationship was. At that point, it was cool to say you had a boyfriend or girlfriend so we decided that we'd try it. It was really nothing more than a close friendship and never really turned into anything at any point. I don't even know what he's doing anymore. We lost contact after we left for our respective schools.

2. The Forced Band Geek
In middle school (I think this was 7th grade?), I was in a "relationship" with a guy in the band. I don't really know how much it would be considered a relationship because I felt forced into it. His friends kept bugging me and telling me that he wanted to ask me out and I felt forced into saying yes. It wasn't really a relationship either. We never talked and he cheated on me with a girl that looked like me that would give him the physical contact a hormonal middle schooler wanted. After he'd done that, I realized I didn't want to be in anything with him so I broke that up. At some point after that, I was practicing some music in one of the practice rooms and he and his friends came in and egged him on about something. I didn't really know what it meant at the time (nor do I truly remember this. Thanks journal), but he walked in and decided to touch my breasts (despite the fact I was playing a trombone at the time). I didn't really understand it or realize that it was wrong at the time which is probably why I forgot it happened. I don't know where he or any of his friends are currently. We lost contact after I left that school.

3. The Band Geek I Actually Liked
This one is probably actually considered a relationship. In eighth grade, I was officially in the marching band. Over time, I'd developed a crush on one of my best friends at the time. At one point, he found out and we decided to try dating. We went on one actual date and it was a trip to see a movie for my birthday and even then, we had my mom and some of my friends with us. The most he ever did was kiss me on the cheek and me not really understanding anything, I was mostly satisfied with that. Things were going well (or as well as a middle school relationship could) for about ten months or so. I went to a band competition with some friends and he'd started texting one of my friends about how he liked this other guy. My friend decided to tell me about it because she thought it was something I should know. I ended up talking to him about it, but he wouldn't really tell me anything. During band practice one day, I was practicing a section of the music with another guy in my section when he came into the room and told the other guy to leave. It upset him because he didn't understand what was going on at all. He told me that we were breaking up (which I knew was coming), but that we weren't really breaking up until that Sunday. However, he told the entire band that he'd broken up with me while we were in the practice room. It was humiliating.

We tried to be friends after all of that. I tried to get over the hurt since we still had to see each other all the time, but we grew apart anyway. He ended up moving away for a "high paying job" and blatantly ignored me for over a year until this past Christmas. Then, he decided to ask me for money. He knew I probably would give it to him because I'm a nice person and maybe I would have in different circumstances, but if you text me after ignoring me for a year and talk for about thirty minutes before asking for money, you're not going to get it. That same week, his mom (who I hadn't talked to in at least three years) sent me a message on Facebook telling me that she was worried about what he was getting into up there. She'd never really been much for caring about most things in his life, so I knew that if she was concerned, it was something big. A few weeks later, he texted me that he was moving back home and that he wanted to see me. I avoided the topic and was trying to figure out exactly what was going on. Apparently his roommate was on drugs, but he didn't know that. His roommate threatened to kill him unless he gave him money or his car, so the guy packed up and moved back home. I'm not entirely sure if I want to see him again, especially after the way things have happened with him.



Written: 02 April 2018