Ghosts of Unicorn Past: High School "Relationships"
Most of my "relationships" in high school were much like my relationships in middle school. Most of them weren't really relationships, but something more like a close friendship or just going on a couple dates because we felt obligated to.
The Third and Final Band Geek:
The hormones that most people found during middle school came to me in high school. I was a high school freshman that had never been kissed and I felt left out because of it. Almost all of my friends had been in relationships more serious than any of mine and I felt like the immature child of the group. This was also around the same time that people were beginning to rumor that I was a lesbian with a crush on one of my best friends and I think I wanted to try to prove that they were wrong. This guy wasn't the greatest guy ever, but he'd had a crush on me for a while. I finally gave in and let him ask me out. Our relationship was never anything more than band except for the time my phone had gotten stolen and we'd had a bomb threat the same day (I'll do a post on why my first high school was terrible at some point). That was about the only time we were a "couple" outside of that time he kissed me on the bus. I'm not even sure it was really a kiss either so I usually don't count it as my first, but he'd tried. It wasn't a relationship that lasted long. The only thing that came out of it was the fact that he'd finally convinced his overprotective mother to let him get his driver's license. I have absolutely no idea where he is today.
The Guy a Friend Set Me Up With:
At some point at the end of my freshman year, one of my friends started dating someone and he convinced her to help him set his best friend up with someone. That someone ended up being me. I got a text one day from her asking if I liked some guy I didn't even know. I told her that at minimum, I'd have to get to know him. I'm not sure what she told him, but when he texted me, he came on a little strong. He liked to drink and dip (he was only a year older than me at the time as well) and I didn't like either of those things, especially since he was underage. He told me that he would stop for me. I was skeptical of it, but I decided to trust him for the time being. We went on a couple of dates. One was with the friend that set us up and the other was to a movie where he brought his friends along. I don't really think you'd consider it much of a date in either case. We were both extremely awkward. I found out that he'd been lying to me about drinking through his cousin and I tried to talk to him about it. He got defensive and I knew that things were going to fail at that point. One day, he dropped me off from a church event and wanted me to kiss him, but me being my awkward self, didn't and I'm honestly glad I didn't at this point.
The Guy that Asked Me Out and Moved Away:
In my sophomore year, I started getting close with an ROTC guy at school. His friends thought we'd be adorable together and tried to convince us to date. Because of their pestering, I gave into feelings and had a crush on him. He eventually asked me out. However, right around that same time, he'd been told that he was moving away. I'm fairly sure that he knew before he asked me out, but I'm not positive. Right after he told me, he told me that he didn't want to even attempt a long distance relationship. Things got pretty terrible after that point, but I don't remember a lot of what happened. I just remember feeling very hurt. We haven't talked since he moved away.
The Guy that Tried to Kiss me at the Waterpark:
After a parade in the middle of the summer in the South (I don't remember which summer at this point), our band had decided to go to the waterpark as a reward for all of the long hot days in the grueling sun. It was also a way for the older members to bond with the new members that would start marching with us that summer. One of the new guys was a little creepy, but had become friends with me. That day, he'd started talking to me about something and all of a sudden, told me that he really wanted to kiss me. I felt really weird about it and ended up telling him no. He spent most of that afternoon trying to convince me to say yes, but I kept saying no. I knew there was something weird about that situation and I didn't want to put myself into it. I ended up having to change the people I was with to get away from him for the rest of the day.
The Summer Fling:
After my junior year, I somehow found myself in a relationship. The guy had a huge crush on me throughout my junior year and we were doing research in the same place that summer. We'd ended up hanging out together over wanting to avoid the same people. We started watching movies in the evenings when we got off of work and at one point, we ended up cuddling. I don't remember most of the details at this point, but we did decide to date and our relationship was fairly serious, but quite short. Since we were living in a dorm in the summer, all of our meals had to be eaten out (it's just the way our school set things up) so we typically did that together and watched a movie afterwards. He was there when a friend of mine got killed and dealt with a lot of my anxiety. Things were getting more intense throughout the summer and right before I started my Senior year, I realized that I didn't want to or have time to be in a relationship so I decided that it was best to let him go before everything got worse later. He didn't take it well and wanted every reason to hate me. He listened to and believed anything that a girl that already didn't like me (she thought I was trying to steal her boyfriend) said and that made him hate me more. We ended up having classes together that year and it was really strange for both of us. He continued to blatantly ignore me until this summer when his brother texted me that he was worried about him.
By that point, he'd let his mental health get the best of him and had fallen into a dark path. Even though he didn't want to let me in, I was one of the most emotionally close people in his life. I started talking to him about things to try to figure out how to help him. He kept asking me why I was talking to him since I clearly didn't care about him and I got confused. He kept insulting me and trying to tear me down because he wanted me to hate him so that I wouldn't be sad when he killed himself. It was at that point that I finally convinced him to talk to me about things that had happened between us since he didn't know my side of the story. He found out that most of the things he thought he knew were lies and I think he still struggles to believe that. A while back, he messaged me about his girlfriend (they broke up not long after that) and was trying to rub the fact that he'd lost his virginity in my face and kept trying to one up me or insult me. After they broke up, we started talking about both of our situations and he constantly insulted me and the guys I was talking to to the point I finally had to walk away for my own well being. He'd resorted to drugs and alcohol to try to heal a pain that he didn't want to let anyone in on.
Written: 03 April 2018
The Third and Final Band Geek:
The hormones that most people found during middle school came to me in high school. I was a high school freshman that had never been kissed and I felt left out because of it. Almost all of my friends had been in relationships more serious than any of mine and I felt like the immature child of the group. This was also around the same time that people were beginning to rumor that I was a lesbian with a crush on one of my best friends and I think I wanted to try to prove that they were wrong. This guy wasn't the greatest guy ever, but he'd had a crush on me for a while. I finally gave in and let him ask me out. Our relationship was never anything more than band except for the time my phone had gotten stolen and we'd had a bomb threat the same day (I'll do a post on why my first high school was terrible at some point). That was about the only time we were a "couple" outside of that time he kissed me on the bus. I'm not even sure it was really a kiss either so I usually don't count it as my first, but he'd tried. It wasn't a relationship that lasted long. The only thing that came out of it was the fact that he'd finally convinced his overprotective mother to let him get his driver's license. I have absolutely no idea where he is today.The Guy a Friend Set Me Up With:
At some point at the end of my freshman year, one of my friends started dating someone and he convinced her to help him set his best friend up with someone. That someone ended up being me. I got a text one day from her asking if I liked some guy I didn't even know. I told her that at minimum, I'd have to get to know him. I'm not sure what she told him, but when he texted me, he came on a little strong. He liked to drink and dip (he was only a year older than me at the time as well) and I didn't like either of those things, especially since he was underage. He told me that he would stop for me. I was skeptical of it, but I decided to trust him for the time being. We went on a couple of dates. One was with the friend that set us up and the other was to a movie where he brought his friends along. I don't really think you'd consider it much of a date in either case. We were both extremely awkward. I found out that he'd been lying to me about drinking through his cousin and I tried to talk to him about it. He got defensive and I knew that things were going to fail at that point. One day, he dropped me off from a church event and wanted me to kiss him, but me being my awkward self, didn't and I'm honestly glad I didn't at this point.The Guy that Asked Me Out and Moved Away:
In my sophomore year, I started getting close with an ROTC guy at school. His friends thought we'd be adorable together and tried to convince us to date. Because of their pestering, I gave into feelings and had a crush on him. He eventually asked me out. However, right around that same time, he'd been told that he was moving away. I'm fairly sure that he knew before he asked me out, but I'm not positive. Right after he told me, he told me that he didn't want to even attempt a long distance relationship. Things got pretty terrible after that point, but I don't remember a lot of what happened. I just remember feeling very hurt. We haven't talked since he moved away.
The Guy that Tried to Kiss me at the Waterpark:
After a parade in the middle of the summer in the South (I don't remember which summer at this point), our band had decided to go to the waterpark as a reward for all of the long hot days in the grueling sun. It was also a way for the older members to bond with the new members that would start marching with us that summer. One of the new guys was a little creepy, but had become friends with me. That day, he'd started talking to me about something and all of a sudden, told me that he really wanted to kiss me. I felt really weird about it and ended up telling him no. He spent most of that afternoon trying to convince me to say yes, but I kept saying no. I knew there was something weird about that situation and I didn't want to put myself into it. I ended up having to change the people I was with to get away from him for the rest of the day.
The Summer Fling:
After my junior year, I somehow found myself in a relationship. The guy had a huge crush on me throughout my junior year and we were doing research in the same place that summer. We'd ended up hanging out together over wanting to avoid the same people. We started watching movies in the evenings when we got off of work and at one point, we ended up cuddling. I don't remember most of the details at this point, but we did decide to date and our relationship was fairly serious, but quite short. Since we were living in a dorm in the summer, all of our meals had to be eaten out (it's just the way our school set things up) so we typically did that together and watched a movie afterwards. He was there when a friend of mine got killed and dealt with a lot of my anxiety. Things were getting more intense throughout the summer and right before I started my Senior year, I realized that I didn't want to or have time to be in a relationship so I decided that it was best to let him go before everything got worse later. He didn't take it well and wanted every reason to hate me. He listened to and believed anything that a girl that already didn't like me (she thought I was trying to steal her boyfriend) said and that made him hate me more. We ended up having classes together that year and it was really strange for both of us. He continued to blatantly ignore me until this summer when his brother texted me that he was worried about him.By that point, he'd let his mental health get the best of him and had fallen into a dark path. Even though he didn't want to let me in, I was one of the most emotionally close people in his life. I started talking to him about things to try to figure out how to help him. He kept asking me why I was talking to him since I clearly didn't care about him and I got confused. He kept insulting me and trying to tear me down because he wanted me to hate him so that I wouldn't be sad when he killed himself. It was at that point that I finally convinced him to talk to me about things that had happened between us since he didn't know my side of the story. He found out that most of the things he thought he knew were lies and I think he still struggles to believe that. A while back, he messaged me about his girlfriend (they broke up not long after that) and was trying to rub the fact that he'd lost his virginity in my face and kept trying to one up me or insult me. After they broke up, we started talking about both of our situations and he constantly insulted me and the guys I was talking to to the point I finally had to walk away for my own well being. He'd resorted to drugs and alcohol to try to heal a pain that he didn't want to let anyone in on.
Written: 03 April 2018