Feeling Connected in a World of Disconnection - Part 1
As a culture, we are addicted to technology. We always have some form of technology around us. We spend almost all day on our phones or computers, especially those in school. I currently have a computer with two monitors and my phone while writing this post. We have the answers at our fingertips as we are constantly connected to the internet. We have an infinite number of relationship prospects as we can quickly and easily communicate with people all over the world. We are so connected, yet we are so disconnected.
Human Interaction:
We spend so much time online that we end up failing at making actual human contact. Social norms have changed because we struggle to maintain comfortable eye contact with a person. Prolonged eye contact in conversation is now something strange because we spend more time looking at a screen than we do interacting with people.
Our conversations are shorter and we may avoid in person conversations completely, especially with people we don't know because we can simply email, call, text, or Skype them. It means that I can talk to someone across the world about something I need instantly.
Even sitting in a room of friends or family, there's a good chance that at least one person is on their phone (or resisting the urge) at any given point. We might be physically in the same room as others, but mentally, we might be miles away. We find the online world a more enticing place than being with our own friends or family.
Instead of talking to our co-workers or others, our ideal time killer is playing a game or scrolling the internet on our phones. We want to avoid conversation, so we do.
If we don't want to be talked to at any point, especially on public transportation, we put in our headphones. That gesture has become almost a universal sign of "I'm busy" or "I don't want to talk to anyone."
In many cases, people are starting to plan timeframes where they put their screens away and tend to struggle to get through that time period without them because they feel disconnected.
An argument or debate can be resolved instantly by looking up facts instead of actually having a debate that may start a conversation on other topics and bring people closer.
Social Media:
Social media is everywhere. News posts link to it, it's an easy way to contact people, it allows you to keep in touch with people you grew up with or new people in your life that you may not see all the time, and it even can be used to log into other online services.
We create pseudo-selves that exist only online. We highlight the good things in our lives, but neglect to show the bad parts of our lives. We post vacation photos online, but we don't post our breakup photos. We create pseudo-selves that in a way are perfect, or at least that's how we try to make them. We want to show that things are going well in our lives and that we're doing well when we might not actually be. In some cases, our pseudo-selves actually hurt others. Say someone suffering from depression scrolls through all of these pseudo-selves and see only perfection. It will likely make them feel worse about themselves. We wonder why people are diagnosed with depression so often; our answer is right there. We feel like we have to be perfect and that everything we post online has to be perfect. After all, our social media is becoming more involved in how we get jobs. We have to make sure that they're pristine in order to preserve our image, even if we go to the bar and get drunk three times a week.
Everything is based off of a system of likes and followers. The more likes and followers you have, the more popular you are. This is true on every platform. It's why people constantly ask you to subscribe to video channels or follow them on Instagram. It's why you're expected to like your best friend's post regardless of what you think about it. We get jealous of people that have thousands of likes and followers. I'll be honest, I had about 250 followers on Instagram when I deleted it. Most of my posts got an average of 50 likes. However, I didn't particularly care how many likes I had, so when I didn't get as many as someone else, I wasn't quite as hurt. Unfortunately, I was still hurt at the same time. Our social media ranking is equivalent to our social ranking, especially for teenagers and young adults. If they don't have as many likes as everyone else, it drives down their self esteem, just like it did when people that didn't grow up with social media were teens, but the problem is, it doesn't end when the school day does.
Our social media also allows us to remain anonymous more than interacting with humans. It allows us to disconnect from others and sometimes that's a good thing (like in my case and we will get back to that) and other times, it's a bad thing. Sometimes, we forget that there are actual people behind profiles, especially teenagers, and it does damage. That means that we're less likely to censor what we say, especially if we have an alias and can remain more anonymous. It means that bullying doesn't stop at the end of the school day; it can continue all day, every day. People can hide behind fake profiles and usernames and say terrible things. It makes it harder to figure out who is the culprit behind it and it also makes it harder to figure out the truth.
The News:
If it's on the internet, it must be true. That statement is very very false, but many people follow it anyway. If we see it on the news, it must be true. That statement is also false. Our news is spun to make it follow certain ideas and make you feel a certain way about things. They don't cover everything and if they do, they make you feel a certain way about the subject. Kudos to you writers out there for being able to do it.
Personally, I don't like reading the news. It's always so depressing. I've felt that way since I was a child and would read the newspaper with my parents. We choose to cover the bad things because they're usually more news-worthy and sell more papers. We don't always cover stories like "Group of High School Students Dedicate 30 Hours a Week to Volunteering" because they won't sell as many papers. Our news sources make us fear things most of the time because fear is a good way to make someone think differently. If you look at the news coverage of the election from various sources, you will see this variance in how the candidates were portrayed by each news source.
Sometimes, people blindly follow a source because it seems credible, but really isn't. Sometimes, I get tagged in things that I know are blatantly false, but others believe because someone else posted it and they think highly of that person. Studies come out and make people try or do certain things when there's really no real evidence behind anything.
Funny interjection: About a month ago, there were two stories on the news that I saw. One told you that alcohol made you live longer and the other said that it would kill you faster. They were on the same site and posted at nearly the same time
Advertising:
There has been a lot of stigma around Facebook selling data and leaking data lately. It's not a new thing. The price we pay for so much information at our fingertips and keeping social media sites free is our privacy. Every move we make online is tracked by someone or something. It's why you see ads for something you just bought on a different site. It's all catered towards you.
Tying it All Together:
Though we feel like we are connected and that everything is great, that's simply not the truth. In reality, we are extremely disconnected from each other. Sure, I can talk to my person over Snapchat, but it's not the same as being able to actually talk to him in person. We have lost interaction because we are so disconnected from each other and so connected to our technology. We have the ability to skew what we see by what we've looked at in the past and it can make major changes in our habits. We have the ability to remain anonymous and hurt others through our actions and words. We have become a society obsessed with likes and followers. We have let all of these things shape us and ultimately disconnect us.
Stay tuned for Part 2 of this post which will continue the discussion of being disconnected and explore how we can become connected through our use of technology.
Written 04 April 2018
Human Interaction:
We spend so much time online that we end up failing at making actual human contact. Social norms have changed because we struggle to maintain comfortable eye contact with a person. Prolonged eye contact in conversation is now something strange because we spend more time looking at a screen than we do interacting with people.
Our conversations are shorter and we may avoid in person conversations completely, especially with people we don't know because we can simply email, call, text, or Skype them. It means that I can talk to someone across the world about something I need instantly.
Even sitting in a room of friends or family, there's a good chance that at least one person is on their phone (or resisting the urge) at any given point. We might be physically in the same room as others, but mentally, we might be miles away. We find the online world a more enticing place than being with our own friends or family.
Instead of talking to our co-workers or others, our ideal time killer is playing a game or scrolling the internet on our phones. We want to avoid conversation, so we do.
If we don't want to be talked to at any point, especially on public transportation, we put in our headphones. That gesture has become almost a universal sign of "I'm busy" or "I don't want to talk to anyone."In many cases, people are starting to plan timeframes where they put their screens away and tend to struggle to get through that time period without them because they feel disconnected.
An argument or debate can be resolved instantly by looking up facts instead of actually having a debate that may start a conversation on other topics and bring people closer.
Social Media:
Social media is everywhere. News posts link to it, it's an easy way to contact people, it allows you to keep in touch with people you grew up with or new people in your life that you may not see all the time, and it even can be used to log into other online services.
We create pseudo-selves that exist only online. We highlight the good things in our lives, but neglect to show the bad parts of our lives. We post vacation photos online, but we don't post our breakup photos. We create pseudo-selves that in a way are perfect, or at least that's how we try to make them. We want to show that things are going well in our lives and that we're doing well when we might not actually be. In some cases, our pseudo-selves actually hurt others. Say someone suffering from depression scrolls through all of these pseudo-selves and see only perfection. It will likely make them feel worse about themselves. We wonder why people are diagnosed with depression so often; our answer is right there. We feel like we have to be perfect and that everything we post online has to be perfect. After all, our social media is becoming more involved in how we get jobs. We have to make sure that they're pristine in order to preserve our image, even if we go to the bar and get drunk three times a week.
Everything is based off of a system of likes and followers. The more likes and followers you have, the more popular you are. This is true on every platform. It's why people constantly ask you to subscribe to video channels or follow them on Instagram. It's why you're expected to like your best friend's post regardless of what you think about it. We get jealous of people that have thousands of likes and followers. I'll be honest, I had about 250 followers on Instagram when I deleted it. Most of my posts got an average of 50 likes. However, I didn't particularly care how many likes I had, so when I didn't get as many as someone else, I wasn't quite as hurt. Unfortunately, I was still hurt at the same time. Our social media ranking is equivalent to our social ranking, especially for teenagers and young adults. If they don't have as many likes as everyone else, it drives down their self esteem, just like it did when people that didn't grow up with social media were teens, but the problem is, it doesn't end when the school day does.
Our social media also allows us to remain anonymous more than interacting with humans. It allows us to disconnect from others and sometimes that's a good thing (like in my case and we will get back to that) and other times, it's a bad thing. Sometimes, we forget that there are actual people behind profiles, especially teenagers, and it does damage. That means that we're less likely to censor what we say, especially if we have an alias and can remain more anonymous. It means that bullying doesn't stop at the end of the school day; it can continue all day, every day. People can hide behind fake profiles and usernames and say terrible things. It makes it harder to figure out who is the culprit behind it and it also makes it harder to figure out the truth.
The News:
If it's on the internet, it must be true. That statement is very very false, but many people follow it anyway. If we see it on the news, it must be true. That statement is also false. Our news is spun to make it follow certain ideas and make you feel a certain way about things. They don't cover everything and if they do, they make you feel a certain way about the subject. Kudos to you writers out there for being able to do it.
Personally, I don't like reading the news. It's always so depressing. I've felt that way since I was a child and would read the newspaper with my parents. We choose to cover the bad things because they're usually more news-worthy and sell more papers. We don't always cover stories like "Group of High School Students Dedicate 30 Hours a Week to Volunteering" because they won't sell as many papers. Our news sources make us fear things most of the time because fear is a good way to make someone think differently. If you look at the news coverage of the election from various sources, you will see this variance in how the candidates were portrayed by each news source.Sometimes, people blindly follow a source because it seems credible, but really isn't. Sometimes, I get tagged in things that I know are blatantly false, but others believe because someone else posted it and they think highly of that person. Studies come out and make people try or do certain things when there's really no real evidence behind anything.
Funny interjection: About a month ago, there were two stories on the news that I saw. One told you that alcohol made you live longer and the other said that it would kill you faster. They were on the same site and posted at nearly the same time
Advertising:
There has been a lot of stigma around Facebook selling data and leaking data lately. It's not a new thing. The price we pay for so much information at our fingertips and keeping social media sites free is our privacy. Every move we make online is tracked by someone or something. It's why you see ads for something you just bought on a different site. It's all catered towards you.
Tying it All Together:
Though we feel like we are connected and that everything is great, that's simply not the truth. In reality, we are extremely disconnected from each other. Sure, I can talk to my person over Snapchat, but it's not the same as being able to actually talk to him in person. We have lost interaction because we are so disconnected from each other and so connected to our technology. We have the ability to skew what we see by what we've looked at in the past and it can make major changes in our habits. We have the ability to remain anonymous and hurt others through our actions and words. We have become a society obsessed with likes and followers. We have let all of these things shape us and ultimately disconnect us.
Stay tuned for Part 2 of this post which will continue the discussion of being disconnected and explore how we can become connected through our use of technology.
Written 04 April 2018