Silence and the Art of Being Alone
* Originally Posted March 6, 2017
Recently, I’ve found myself more and more alone in a place that makes it nearly impossible to be alone. You’d think that would be impossible, but it really isn’t. I spend more time in my own world of music and homework to drown out not having that one group where I fit in.
It’s not like I don’t have friends; they just have their own groups that I’m not a part of. I’ve found myself not fitting in on days when I actually do get invited out and just sitting there quietly and not knowing what to do. That’s also assuming that I actually had someone ask me to join their group and not just me being in “the right place at the right time” to get asked somewhere. I’ve also found myself awkwardly sitting in a group when I have no idea what is going on with the inside jokes and secrets because I never get told any of them. In the past week, I’ve been kicked out of a room twice for really no reason (neither of which were very nice ways of doing it) and I have almost no one at this point.
Part of it is my own fault. I admit it. I hang out with a lot of different groups at different times, so I don’t really have a group that I’m close with anymore, but it gets lonely not having that one group of besties that you do everything with, especially in a place that doesn’t allow you to be alone. Some days, it isn’t as bad, but it’s pretty bad, especially on the weekends when everyone wants to go out. It’s awkward being that one person that got asked to do nothing by no one because all of your friends already have plans with their friends, so I just end up doing something random at that point.
Recently, I’ve found myself more and more alone in a place that makes it nearly impossible to be alone. You’d think that would be impossible, but it really isn’t. I spend more time in my own world of music and homework to drown out not having that one group where I fit in.
It’s not like I don’t have friends; they just have their own groups that I’m not a part of. I’ve found myself not fitting in on days when I actually do get invited out and just sitting there quietly and not knowing what to do. That’s also assuming that I actually had someone ask me to join their group and not just me being in “the right place at the right time” to get asked somewhere. I’ve also found myself awkwardly sitting in a group when I have no idea what is going on with the inside jokes and secrets because I never get told any of them. In the past week, I’ve been kicked out of a room twice for really no reason (neither of which were very nice ways of doing it) and I have almost no one at this point.
Part of it is my own fault. I admit it. I hang out with a lot of different groups at different times, so I don’t really have a group that I’m close with anymore, but it gets lonely not having that one group of besties that you do everything with, especially in a place that doesn’t allow you to be alone. Some days, it isn’t as bad, but it’s pretty bad, especially on the weekends when everyone wants to go out. It’s awkward being that one person that got asked to do nothing by no one because all of your friends already have plans with their friends, so I just end up doing something random at that point.